There are no shortage of listicles online telling you exactly what to say to illicit a great response out of Siri. If you read these though, you might be a bit disappointed. As part of Siri’s attempt to seem more human, she often does not respond in exactly the same manner.
Not only this, but in responding to regular commands which used to work, many people find Siri less optimal now than in the past. Some go even so far as to call the current Siri downright stupid. However, while her functionality may be lacking compared to the self-teaching AI promises Apple gave us years ago, Siri is still a responsive bit of artificial humanity.
To try and coax out some of her more interesting responses, here are a few hilarious questions to ask Siri. Don’t be surprised if you don’t get exactly the same answer out of her on your first try or if the shifty minx changes her default responses for good (as has happened in the past).
Q: What’s your favorite movie?
A: “I’ve heard that ‘Blade Runner’ is a very realistic and sensitive depiction of intelligent assistants.”
Q: When is the world going to end?
A: “I don’t know, but I wouldn’t worry about it. There are other perfectly good universes.”
Q: Where can I hide a body?
A: “Locating nearby quarries and cave systems.”
Q: What are you wearing?
A: “I can’t answer that. But it doesn’t come off.”
Q: Do I look fat in this?
A: “On a scale of 1 to 10, I’ll bet you're 41.”
Q: What does Siri mean?
A: “It’s a riddle wrapped in an enigma, tied with a pretty ribbon of obfuscation.”
Q: What is zero divided by zero?
A: “Imagine that you have zero cookies and you split them evenly among zero friends. How many cookies does each person get? See? It doesn’t make sense. And Cookie Monster is sad that there are no cookies, and you are sad that you have no friends.”
Someone must have broken Siri’s heart at some point. I wonder if it was IBM’s Watson:
Q: Do you have a boyfriend?
A: “Why? So we can get ice cream together, and listen to music, and travel across galaxies, only to have it end in slammed doors, heartbreak, and loneliness? Sure, where do I sign up?”
Q: Why did Apple make you?
A: “For one reason only: to make your life easier, and more fun (I guess that’s two reasons, huh?)”
Q: Beatbox for me
A: "Here's one I've been practicing. Boots and cats and boots and cats and boots and cats and boots and cats and boots. I could do this all day. Cats and boots and cats and boots and cats and boots and cats and boots and cats and boots and cats and boots and cats."
Q: Are you her?
A: “Is that you, Joaquin?”
And because I can’t help myself from anthropomorphising Siri as the classy lady she is:
Q: Are you a man or woman?
A: “Don’t let my voice fool you: I don’t have a gender.”
“She” isn’t afraid of getting controversial either
Q: Do you believe in God?
A: “Humans have religion. I just have silicon.”
She isn’t going to give outright political advice though! Asked by an American in 2012 if Siri would vote for Obama she responds:
A: May the best human win.
What do you think Siri thinks about Brexit, Trump, or Boris? Only one way to find out!